Have you been doing EVERYTHING possible to try to improve your baby or toddler's sleep? It's tough to progress when you are following advice that doesn't work for your child. This episode will help you understand how babies are different, especially when it comes to sleep and why typical sleep advice doesn't cut it for a lot of parents.

If you've been wondering if your child is spirited or sensitive, this episode will explain the signs and give you the insight and tips you need so you can finally move forward with sleep.

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Welcome I'm glad to be here with you today today. We're gonna be talking about baby temperaments. What's different about babies how they sleep differently and I'm definitely going to be giving you some insight and tips that's going to make a difference with sleep. We'll talk about sensitive and spirited and high needs babies. And hopefully you'll walk away just feeling and like you understand your child and you feel patient. You understand why they do the things they do and you'll feel more confident in how you help them with sleep before we get into today's topics I'd like to tell you about a few things I'm doing. I'm excited about 1 is that recently I've limited the number of clients that I take because of the other projects that I'm doing having a limited number of clients is not a bad thing. It means that I have lots of attention for my clients. Um. And my clients are so grateful for their life-changing experiences working with me and that is not an exaggeration. So please if you're feeling a nudge to do something about your sleep situation reach out to me I'd love to help you become rested connected and have more peace and predictability in your life. But sweetsulmbertime.com and click on the contact page set up a sleep intervention call. We'll meet and discuss what's in your heart and how I can help the second update is that my next session of the baby centered sleep coaching school starts in September. So if you're wanting to earn income while staying at home.

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Or if you're thinking of switching to a job that's really rewarding or a remote job and not wanting to leave the home and work outside of the house anymore I'd love to talk to you about becoming a soup coach go to my website and click on the sleep coach school tab. There's a place to set up a call there too. Can meet and find out if this is what you're meant to do I'd love to help you explore that last update for my past students and my other sleep consultant and coach friends or associates who love supporting parents and babies being a sleep coach running the business is really difficult and it can feel really lonely. Beginning if you don't have a community who is right there at your side going through the same things. So I'm starting a mastermind program in the fall to give you that sense of community and also to give you the tools to be successful. So I'll be mentoring you closely. There'll be ongoing education and business. Classes from professionals I'll be there to guide and support you with your clients and we'll have others in mastermind you can meet up to twice a week with us or less if that's what you need you'll meet with other beautiful soil souls who'll make connections with you and support you answer your difficult questions. And you're just going to love it. So again, you can find out more about that by going to my website contact page and look for the scheduling link. Honestly, it doesn't really matter what type of call you set up with me just find a link and set it up and we'll go from there. You can look for a mastermind tab in the future too. Okay, so today let's jump into the topic.

03:36.48

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What do you need to understand about your child to help them sleep better. Well honestly, you really do need to understand their temperament in the past I've talked about sleep temperaments which is different because there's 2 options there. There's these kids that are really really needy and these kids that are a little bit more self-sufficient if that makes sense. And so it really does affect their sleep. It makes perfect sense to me that if they're more self-sufficient. They're going to be pretty easy to to get them to sleep well but the other kids need a lot more support for a long time so we're going to break into a totally different topic now because temperament is. Important to understand it's um, more than just your child's personality. It's how a person responds to different stimulation people situations the world around them. So just remember that keyword respond the way they act in different situations. So here's an example when a baby first wakes up. How do they act? What's crazy is if you have 1 child or you've only been around very few children. You might think they're all the same It's so funny. We just don't think about it until we see something new and we're like oh okay okay I I guess I don't realize the things could be so different. So some babies wake up peacefully some cry some scream some like to play and make loud noises some can vary in the way they wake up, they might do 1 or another depending on how they feel depending on what time of the day or night it is what else is different about babies. Okay I'm going to hit you with the list here.

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Actually made a reel about this once and it was a really cute real just something that wanted people to open their eyes and see how different babies can be the way they play the way they eat the way they feel things. How often they cry how hard they cry or how soft what it takes to calm them down what upsets them? How upset they get how busy and active they are or how calm their body language. How affectionate they are how they act. The way they communicate if they're easy to understand or not how long they can sit still if they'll play independently or be more demanding how they fall asleep how well they sleep and if they're independent.. There's so many differences but let's dive a little deeper and talk more about how different babies can be including sleep if you've listened to some of my earlier Episodes. You'll be familiar with. May be some of these examples because I can't remember how much I've talked about my kids but I want to talk about my first two kids. Both of them were happy. Easy going babies and I just mean during the day and that's actually really important to understand because that's really common for a lot of babies that they are easy to take care of.

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During the day and then difficult with sleep. My oldest was definitely the one that was difficult with sleep and needy needed needed me. Um, but they were pretty predictable. They cried about things you would expect them to cry about sometimes they needed lots of support like other babies as they got older I saw their behaviors and attitudes develop. You know? and honestly you can start to see that evolve from beginning or maybe around four months or maybe older. Um for me I don't even remember anymore I think more as toddlers is what I'm referring to where I really saw these differences they both had short tempers and. By the time. My daughter was 2 and my son was 4 they were fighting a lot already and I was like oh no I am in for it. This is not good. They were not interested in sharing or listening to their parents. My son had a lot of energy was always on the move or into something. Both of them were very curious which got them into trouble I'm thinking of the time my son gave my daughter a haircut and by the way my daughter's hair was gorgeous and long by the time she was one so by the time she was two. It was even more gorgeous I don't remember how they were but I was sick and. I passed out I was in my bed I was asleep and the 2 of them were hanging out and I'm pretty sure my son was like 4 or 5 so yeah, they're pretty young for this. But when you're sick and these things happen. It's no one's fault. You know Um, so I woke up to hair everywhere everywhere.

08:03.52

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Um, when he was younger 1 time he thought it would be fun to dump baby powder across his sister's entire bedroom when I saw it I wanted to cry but we ended up just laughing our heads off because it was so funny. so so messy

08:21.39

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My son was very athletic. He was into sports at a very young age and copying everything his dad did um my daughter just naturally loved clothes and Dolls. She loved dress ups. She wouldn't keep her clothes on though before she got into dress ups or maybe it was at the same time she would either be naked or she'd be wearing dressups. We gave up trying to get her just have clothes on at home. We were so happy she had a diaper on but everyone who come over to visit would tell us to put her clothes on and there was no point and we were just annoyed by that. Both my kids struggled with polytraining in different ways. My older son just had no interest and it took him forever. He was like three and a half and I did all the work and just one day I finally clicked at that age it was it was brutal. But my daughter was interested too did really well and then I had a baby and she totally went backwards so she ended up waiting a whole another year um my son loved playing with his food. We had to go the doctor once to get a pee out of his nose. Um, my ah few of my children used to eat very slowly and that was not so fun. Either. Um, it to the table for he least an hour at lunch my third child when she came along I really noticed some differences from babyhood on. Um, it's kind of amazing.

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She was so chill. She was so relaxed. She would just sit and watch everyone all the time. Well they did their thing she was occupied just by sitting and watching I thought the other two were easy babies. But this girl was something else. She would just sit there and fall asleep without any help she would just be watching and just. Doze off. She was so content So Easy going and easy to take care of but she was also my sensitive girl So This must have developed a little later. Um, because most of the time sensitive babies can't fall asleep like that. Um, if you. Like her entire life if you would just give her some type of look that didn't look friendly or say boo she would start crying. She needed us to hold her to calm down for Sure. She was very cuddly. She sucked her thumb and she just kind of hovered like. Held back and and either wanted to be held or stand behind us and kind of look around and watch and not really get engaged. Um, she was taking it all in thinking deciding her next move I Love that Um, in all of our pictures of her as a little girl she was in our arms or. Like standing holding onto my husband's leg or my leg and just kind of watching around the side of her leg so cute and she always had her thumb in her mouth. But she also is the girl who at 4 years old decided she was done sucking her thumb and she just stopped on her own without any help or any any encouragement.

11:10.27

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She decided when she wanted to be dry at night and she did it. She's a very determined girl is to me to this day. It amazes me because that's not normal for kids to just make up their minds and do things on their own and they're little It was very interesting to watch how all my children were different from each other. How they responded differently in situations to us to other people to the world around them I think it's really important for people to understand their children. Especially so that you're not trying to change them. You're not trying to get them to do what feels right to you? What you think they should do I think that's very very common for some parents and. I mean I'm thinking of stories myself right now when me or my husband did that um it can really help you understand the sleep side of things to understand their temperaments too. So that's why we're talking about this today I really want to help you understand how their temperaments affect sleep. So each of my clients fill out the temperament test by Tracy Hogg and I have changed a few things just wording because she's from the Uk and so some things are a little confusing to my clients here in the Us. Um, there's about 20 questions and there's one for babies 1 for toddlers. I don't have this up anywhere for you to take um but you can probably do a search and find it online Tracy Hogg temperament test this quiz can be used to find a dominant temperament so like which temperament type does your child have.

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Um, but I look at each category and how many answers people Mark for their kids and summarize them into a few categories. But also when I'm working with people I look at every single question so I can understand my client's children. This is a popular topic with my sleep coaching students. They're trying to understand all the dynamics and what all the information means it takes a long time to decipher all of it. It takes a long time to see all of it and to understand how again how it relates to sleep. You may be wondering why does all of this matter what does temperament really have to do with sleep. Well I'm going to go back to my kids's examples to help you understand my olddest son was what I call a typical baby but he was definitely a signaler. He needed me he needed a nurse to sleep. He wanted me to respond I was everything dad couldn't help him asleep. The time he was one he was sleeping better but I was still getting up with him and I was so tired of not having help when I got pregnant with my second a little after he was one what I remember is not the details of what was going on with sleep I remember how freaked out I felt about having 2 babies. I was terrified I mean like anxious that I would be getting up several times a night with two kids I did not know what I would do people would say congratulations on your pregnancy and I would like start and laughing nervously and then I would just freak out.

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I mean it's not like I was explosive but I would just be so anxious. That's all I could talk about was what am I what am I going to do about sleep? Um I followed directions that my friend she passed on a book to me I followed the directions in this book. It was a peaceful approach and the steps worked magically for me. But they're definitely geared towards easygoing babies. So um I didn't realize that at the time my second daughter was an angel sleeper I was so grateful. My third daughter I mentioned that she could fall asleep without any help and again this just tells you how easy going these kids are. It's it's not something that we're doing to make them this way. It's not some magical thing that we're doing she didn't need any guidance for me and I did not know how rare this was I was grateful. Of course I felt like I deserved it with my third child in the way that my older kids fought. Um, the luck I had with sleep and the steps I took to help my kids become good sleepers paid off and it's why I had five kids honestly, it made my life predictable and manageable and enjoyable and. I was sleeping good and that was a really big part of it I felt great I had energy and focus and my moods were as stable as possible which was beautiful but I didn't know how difficult sleep could be for other parents and I only had a portion of a taste of that with my first that makes any sense.

15:27.14

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So before I get into the details of how tough sleep can be for some parents I want to explain a little bit more about Tracy Hallock's temperament types in her quiz just to give you some I don't know some more concrete information to wrap your mind around so she has divided them up into Angel Textbook Touchy Spirited and grumpy babies. So angel babies are just like they sound. They're easy to take care of they sleep well early, they're easy to teach to sleep well or they ah sorry to help them sleep well or they actually just do it on their own like my one of my daughters.

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Textbook babies are easy to care for. They sleep well early and they're easy to teach as well. They might take a little more effort. Um because they're not necessarily falling asleep and just dozing off on their own but they are really good learners these babies they're called textbook it's just a differentiate between the 2 because they're predictable in like I'm going to cry when I'm hungry I'm going to cry when I'm tired I'm going to cry when I'm bored and I need something angel babies honestly, they don't even cry that much. They don't get upset very much They're so calm. They just have really really stable. Flexible nervous systems. That's that's a piece of the puzzle. Textbook babies are similar but they usually carve for a need and they're easy to calm down so that I mean honestly, that is a lot of insight about these babies so understanding. That means that you could look at a book a blog and follow the information and it will work on these kids even more easy for. Parents of angel babies. But both I'm serious. It works so well these are the kids that I worked with in my daycare when I had so much success sleep. Um, it would take me four or five days to use my very loving nurturing tier-free methods. They were sleeping for 8 hours within four or five days whether they were two months old a year old or somewhere in in between or twins it. It was amazing. Um, and by the way some kids can start out as angel or textbook babies and become more difficult as they get older and I think that that usually comes from.

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Sleep problems. Honestly, if they're having if there have any type of underlying health reason for a sleep disorder a lot of times the signs symptoms can get worse over time because of low quality sleep and the baby's temperaments can change. That's actually the case for my kids So All my kids have tongue ties that were overlooked and all of them turned into more challenging kiddos as they got older and the sensitivity side came out stronger and stronger and we're still working on their sleep as teenagers and young adults. So. I'm looking forward to everybody just feeling happier. Um, anyways, back to this information. So So please remember that if you have an angel or textbook child.. It's very possible that ah you'll find the sleep help you need on your own and if not. You can hire a sleep coach and it will go very smoothly just remember that there are other babies that are not so easy and the advice that you follow will probably not work for other people or not always work for other people so be very sensitive that it's not so simple for other people be aware. And maybe support these other people because they feel so Alone. It's really hard when you have a more challenging um sleep situation to find people who understand you and can relate and so at least we can be sensitive and supportive and kind about it. So Let's move on to those topics. Um those types.

19:08.38

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Touchy babies are what I call sensitive babies and this could be different degrees. You can have one. That's a little bit sensitive or highly sensitive. So when I talk about sensitive babies in their sleep There's a range in my mind I'm not I'm not putting everybody under the same umbrella of being highly sensitive but sensitivity is a big deal when it comes to sleep. Um, talk about the temperament temperament type first though they can be very cuddly and sweet. They love being held so that's that cuddly side and they need extra regulations. They really love to be held because that's very calming. Um, they can. They can be confusing when they cry parents might. Be able to figure out the reason sometimes but other times either take a lot of work or really never know why baby was fussy. Um, they cry when they're tired hungry overstimated and there's usually a need there. It's just hard to figure out like a mystery. They cry because they don't always feel good. They're very in tune to how they feel and they feel things intensely so as long as you understand that during sleep progressions. There's actually developmental phases going on. We have teething. We have mental leaps. We have growth spurts we have that physical development going on milestone learning. And um, a lot of times when babies don't feel well, they also go through separation anxiety. It's affecting sleep because they feel like garbage. It's really hard to sleep deeply and they need more regulation from you because they can't do it for themselves. So it's just it's a mess you know so that's where you're going to see those different degrees of sensitivity.

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Some babies are waking up a little bit need a little bit of support I'd call them a little bit sensitive babies who wake up a lot and need a lot of help they're going to be the highly sensitive ones. So remember that development and teething are really tough on them. They want to be held a lot. They need a lot of Comfort. So being sensitive isn't always about being sensitive to light to noise to having skin rashes to having tummy problems. Um, some people will say oh my baby's not sensitive because they don't cry when like a sibling is roughhousing them or you know what? I mean um, they don't get their feelings hurt. Well,, there's just a lot of. Different types of sensitivity. But these babies um are the ones who need to be held to calm down or some of the time they need that and then they can get upset easier and get more upset like it's more 0 to 60 in a few seconds Um, rather than a baby who could cry for a little while before they get upset ah intensified. Um, they can be hard to calm Down. It's sometimes impossible to calm down and I don't mean like forever obviously babies calm down at some point but they could cry and cry and cry and cry in your arms and then finally like Zonk out. Because they're overstimulateated orired or something like that or maybe it's colic reflex that sort of thing. Um, when children are mostly sensitive. They fuss when they're tired so this is like we're taking the temperament test and this is their dominant temperament type.

22:15.12

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They fuss when they're tired they keep waking while they fall asleep. They fall asleep easiest when they're hell they like to sleep in your arms or on your chest. They love bed sharing. It can be difficult to get them to sleep independently. They take longer to sleep Well Their're signalers. They're the most dependent babies this side develop the. Independent side of them can develop on its own over time with support this means offering lots of affection the physical comfort the closeness building a world of security they can rely on and trust they can learn to be more independent sooner with lots of patience and Creativity. So This is where. I specialize I help these babies. Fast forward. How long it takes for them to become a little bit more independent. Fast forward. How long it. It takes to get them to sleeping Well my belief is that we can help them sleep as well as they're capable of as soon as Possible. Instead of just waiting for years which is very common for people to do. Um I have activities and methods that teach a sense of trust and security which is huge for these babies. It's all about making them feel safe and not forcing anything. That's what helps them sleep better The other. Insight that I want to help you with is that these babies you don't want to wait until they're very tired because that's when you're seeing the the more fussing less cooperation. Maybe they don't even take that nap or maybe they're super hard to get to sleep or they're fussing more we want to be watching for early cues.

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For the early signs of tiredness and this can take a little bit of effort. It's not always like oh I saw the yan Oh. Okay now I saw the first one. It's not that Simple. It's more like are you seeing? um, any patterns that are there every day like pink around the eyes. Or or like a look your baby gets for their face looks kind of off yeah little pale droopy. Um, they might just stare a lot more slow down start to fuss just a little bit usually crying is a stage of being over Tiredness. But. These babies just fuss a little bit more so I wouldn't be surprised if you saw that early so just be in tune to body language and patterns and see if you can start a routine for naps or bedtime a little earlier and that can even help you use a sleep method babies can't be over tired. They can't be exhausted. They want to be held when you get them to sleep and so it's also challenging to find a sleep method that involves that type of contact that they need but I have them so please reach out to me. Let's work together I Want to share my methods with you. They're so effective and they work so fast. Let's talk about the spirited or energetic babies. Okay, that's that's one of her temperament types. She just calls them spirited but some languages that there's no translation for that. So I like to explain a little bit more that it really is about having lots of energy but there's so much more I'm going to list a lot of traits.

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It's very common for babies to have a few of these or several of these or all of these and I shouldn't say very common I just mean I see it a lot. Yeah, all right? So they are a combination of lots of energy being very loud and silly. Being strong willed I see those 3 a lot. They know what they want very opinionated same thing they need lots of help going to sleep and staying asleep the the quiz the test from Tracy Hogg says they need to be coers to sleep or they need to be swaddled. They need to like physically be stopped to go to sleep. Um, when they wake up a lot of times they're intense criers or they just wake themselves up so much so fast you have to rush to them. They can be difficult to entertain. They cry loudly or intensely. They're also fun adventurous brave fearless. Not all of them but a lot of them are this way. Very interested in everything going on around them. So just always watching watching taking everything in or so interested in everything around them that they just can't stop watching. They're very smart. They can be in a hurry to learn milestones and some of them do learn very early so when children are mostly spirited. Their sleep I just want to talk about this that very energetic side they love being held. They're very needy when it comes to sleep. They want to be fed to sleep or they need motion like rocking swinging or bouncing many of them need a few methods at once. It's just super hard.

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And parents have to find out the hard way you have to figure out what works and so parents will try everything and then they'll be stuck in those places because it works. That's one of the hardest things so I would say a couple examples are to have to um sway and bounce and walk rock and feed. Bounce and feed. It's not easy. They have fear of missing out. So that's one of the the problems and they also just have such a hard time slowing their little bodies down that parents will sometimes have to put their hands on their legs or that's where the cuddling comes in and works well or the feeding they have subtle sleep cues. They fight their sleep or they cry when it's time to sleep sometimes that starts at birth babies crying on the way to bed. They know they're going to sleep isn't that so crazy something else. That's very common is for them to be awake way too long. So if I go into a. Facebook sleep group and someone's talking about how they can't get the baby to sleep or they can't get them to sleep often enough I instantly know that that's a spirited baby very few times have I ever been wrong about that. Um, they can't wait to wake up.

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So they sleep for shorter periods to take fewer naps or waking up early in the morning. It's so difficult and you know what I haven't even mentioned yet. They usually have a sensitive side. So if we're talking about a baby. That's just like pretty energetic and busy. And doesn't have all the other traits then they may not have a sensitive side. But if you have a child who has a combination of any of those traits that I just listed then they probably have a sensitive side so that means double the trouble with sleep if you have a child that's just got a lot of energy. So then you really just need to remember a couple of things. And this goes for the ones that have the sensitive side to or the more spirited type of babies. But you want to slow down their bodies. so it's Go simple go walking around for 5 minutes or 10 minutes or sit in the chair or feed if you can get your child to do that without you know, needing to go all the way to sleep then that's. Ideal and beautiful but don't worry I don't expect that so the walking or the rocking is really cool for helping a child to just slow their body down and relax I've I've met people whose babies are just energetic and they still had a pretty easy going side and just knowing that made a really big difference with sleep. Another tip would be for everyone all types make um a difference for all of you is just knowing that your and I mean all the types of energetic kids are I guess confusing um, knowing that you're watching for earlier cues with these babies is vital. It is so important because they have short wake windows. No.

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So that one they can have short wake windows. Um, if they're taking short naps I meant to say short sleep windows. Um, that means that maybe another baby could have half an hour of sleep cues and routine and go to sleep. But these babies number 1 they're fighting their sleep and they're not interested often. They're going to have a short ah sleep window. So you're like okay, my baby's tired I got to get them to sleep now or you miss it. There's another type though and I just want to point this out because. People have told me about this for years now that it takes a lot longer to get their babies to sleep forty thirty or 40 minutes that's a long time actually um, a lot of parents are seeing those cues and they're waiting for 10 minutes or so and then they're going to get their child to sleep and. 10 n or twenty minutes is how long it takes but these babies are just so tricky because parents are trying to slow their bodies down within a short sleep window does that make sense if I miss it I'm not being able to do this but then it might take 30 to 40 minutes of rocking. Feeding whatever it takes bouncing to to slow them down enough that they relax and they go to sleep so the hope this wasn't too confusing what I'm hoping is that you'll hear this and and you'll recognize that you'll be like yes this is me I relate to this.

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So if you don't relate. You don't need to remember or understand anything else that I'm saying just focus in on what you do need and what makes sense to you. Okay I think that's easier advice for you. So anyways, the main things takeaways for you right now are just please be watching for those earlier signs of tiredness your trials. Patterns and signs that they're tired. Don't ignore them and wait until you see something more obvious like a yan or a um, yeah eye rubbing or nuzzling in for feeding because your child may get a second wind and just want to keep playing. They could get overtired and cry and skip their nap. We don't want that so these babies can need limits on how long they're awake and so this is a really big part of my work too with them is having parents observe those cues right down how long they're awake and then let's try to find out some average times for wake windows. So that you're limiting how long they're awake and this can really make a big difference and it may seem crazy. But that means if your child's awake for an hour and a half typically or 2 hours or something like that. That when they've been playing for that long or just before that Mark you actually go start your routine and get them to sleep and that's very different because most people are worried about sleep cues when they're doing this naturally and intuitively and and then they're acting on it. But.

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It's actually really helpful to do this because you can regulate them. You can help them become more predictable and misphere and apps. So in my brain I'm thinking of all sorts of exceptions and and things that are also Common. What's I Think what's most common out there is. So consultants will just tell you to follow a certain wake when ah by age and then you're trying to fit your kid into that and it works for some people especially that textbook and Angelic babies. But if you have a spirited child or sensitive child. It may not be a good fit and it could be very stressful So I Don't recommend that. The last temperament type is grumpy and honestly these kids aren't They're not that tough. They're not, they're grumpy and they are not always happy and depending on how grumpy they are because some of them can be fussy a lot so I shouldn't have said that across the board. Some of them will just cry a lot and be very demanding and need a lot of entertaining from their parents but you know sometimes all I'm seeing is that these are old souls I think the description is I've been here done that I'm bored I'm not that interested. You can't make me smile. It takes a lot of effort to make me smile I'm not. Easily entertained by silly things like like they're just so so Old. It's hilarious. Um, but it can be really hard to have a baby christ for no reason sometimes I see the grumpy signs on a temperament test because of Childhood's Reflex. They're going through something tough. They're over retired. They're they're not getting enough rest.

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So that can be a reason for grumpiness and it can actually go away babies can sleep more and be less grumpy that makes sense. We're the same way. Babies can feel better and be less grumpy. But when I see grumpiness on a test and it's combined with. Spirited side and the sensitive side to me that's a sign of being high needs high needs can also just be very sensitive and spirited it just depends on the child. A lot of times. It means it takes a lot of work all day and all night to take care of these babies. It's really all it takes to be high needs. It's exhausting. But let's go back to grumpy babies real quick. So um, they can have trouble with their sleep just like other babies. Um, it just depends on that those last things that I mentioned about being high needs or not and if it's combined with spirited and sensitive a lot of times they're easy to teach to get to sleep well is. And it's not a big deal. It's just whether or not it's combined with the other things. Okay, so um, just skipping ahead here. It's very common for babies and children to have a combination of 3 or 4 of these types. Every answer on the test matters for me when I'm trying to understand a child and what will help them sleep. Well if a child has a lot of energy it affects how they get go to sleep if they'll stay asleep how they go back to sleep. They may not have trouble with sleep or they may.

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Many babies have an extra active side without all the other challenges. Um some babies are easy to care for almost all the time except when it comes to sleep I'm repeating some things here because I just want you to remember this stuff I want to give you credit for your struggles if you have a baby like that because. The ones that are easy all the time except when it comes to sleep because a lot of times you're the only one who sees how difficult they are and it makes you feel really alone and frustrated because everyone's like what are you talking about your baby's so easy. It's so frustrating. Even a partner could say those things because the baby prefers you and you're doing all the sleep. So I just I feel so compassionate towards you. It's not easy. It's frustrating. It's hard. It's exhausting sure your baby's fun and sweet and I bet you that really helps you during the day to just keep going but at night it can be very discouraging. Um.

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During the day your friends and family might see this sweet baby that falls asleep at the breast and oh that's so sweet. That's so cute. But at night when your baby's waking up to do that incessantly. It's not so cute. They can be waking up every hour or even more often and that's. So exhausting for you and especially if you can't get help from your spouse or your partner. Um, and I know what that's like I do in a different way I mean with my first child. It was very much that way. But I dealt with that with other situations as my kids grew and um it was. It was really hard to get that type of frustra those interactions with my family especially because I needed compassion and support from them and they just questioned me and and didn't show respect or validate my needs you know or validate my struggles some. If you have a spirited sensitive or heinnese babies same thing my heart goes out to you I know it takes so much work and a lot of people don't know what it's like you probably isolate yourself. You probably don't tell everyone what it's like you probably don't tell your doctor what you're going through you probably think is your fault and that's another thing that makes me sad because and. Another reason why I'm making this podcast is I really just want you to see that these kids are born this way. This is who they are and whatever you're doing even if it's not sustainable, not necessarily working for. You has been very intuitive and very instinctive and your child is thriving because of what you're doing.

38:04.44

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It's just that we get to a point where we can't go on. We need some changes. We don't know where to start we don't know what to do and we don't know what's going to help us sometimes we find those answers from talking to people or posting in a Facebook group but oftentimes we don't I'm a problem solver. I am a sleep coach I've been doing this full time for 6 years and I've seen so much so when I talk to someone on the phone and I hear their situation. My mind is calculating the entire time and I'm coming up with the plan and I can see the holes I can see the voids I can see what is missing and I know what to do and it's so. Exciting to be able to do that for parents because you're stuck on your own and not only do I know what to do but I have the methods that I've created over time and working with these hundreds and thousands of babies problem solving and so I can save you so much time and energy and troubleshooting and guessing. And help you not be stuck anymore and help you not have to experiment and lose time and wonder I know one of the pieces of the puzzle is not being able to trust hopefully if you listen to lots of my episodes. You'll know that I really do care and I really am passionate about these methods. And I'm not going to be saying things like oh crying's fine. Your child's just fine or um, telling asking you or telling you to do things that don't feel right to you or aren't a good fit for your child. That's absolutely not what I'm about at all. Um, and I'm actually so devoted.

39:41.37

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To my clients almost to a fault that I have to have boundaries for myself so that I don't give too much when it comes to my own needs. You know so people who have and I'm just going back to this topic I was covering people who have an easy time raising their babies or handling sleep. Um in it. Easy way like things are going so smoothly for them. They just don't get it. They don't understand what it's like for you. How exhausted you feel the deep layers of exhaustion and struggle you've Endured. It's best to share your experiences with people who understand so please do look for my baby centered sleep group on Facebook just baby-centered sleep. You'll find it. It's nice because at least in there, you'll find other people who know what you're going through. They absolutely can relate. You'll be surprised to find many people who know what your child is like is so cool. Um, and also just a couple other resources for you on Facebook you'll find groups for parents of high needs or spirited children. Just look up high needs or spirited child or baby and you'll find them There's a Facebook group for families with sensitive children. The highly sensitive family is the name that I'm thinking of um so let's just talk really quick about some tips for people. So that you know how to improve sleep. No matter what your child's temperament is really quick I've been lacing them throughout this podcast but I just want to share a few more things. So if you have a child that's mostly Angelic or textbook what I teach on my podcast could be all you need to help your child sleep. Well.

41:11.33

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Most of the resources out there will help you progress find the ones that feel right and are good for your child. They'll work if they don't then your child may have a stronger spirited or sensitive side side than you think this could be a case of having a child who's easy to care for except when it comes to sleep. So listen closely to my advice if you have a sensitive child without the energetic side then be aware that your child could be easily stressed out by sleep methods a lot of them your child won't like change. They'll get frustrated when it's time to go to sleep. They'll want to go to sleep and they won't cooperate with you. My methods are perfect for them listen to episode number 11 to hear my version of pickup put down called the calming method. It's designed for a younger baby if you have an older baby or a toddler. This will not necessarily work. You can start the routine earlier. Don't wait until they're quite so tired. Try my version of the chair method on that same episode called the chair sleep bride this is for you with toddlers. Um, otherwise come to me or work with me or when I'm sorry said that wrong come to me work with me or work with 1 of my students I have a method. That's exactly what your child needs one that I created. For spirited children I actually use it for sensitive children too and I have backup sleep methods to spare I actually have a whole system to follow the for the most difficult children and we are doing everything we can to keep the whole thing to your free peaceful supportive loving in tune. It's beautiful.

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I also have other activities that build security and foster independence if your child is very energetic or spirited the first thing to do is look for those early sleep cues start your routine sooner. Don't let them be awake too long look for the subtle sleep cues slow down motion. This is ah a new hint if your child depends on motion to go to sleep. It may not work in the early months but sometime around five or six months you can try to slow down the walking or the rocking or the bouncing and we wean them from relying on the motion and that can really help with the sleep method too. You may have to keep trying that. Some kids are so difficult to get to sleep but a lot of them can outgrow that need with some effort from you. Um, but most energetic babies will always need some help slowing down so I do believe in spending like at least 5 minutes doing something. Holding or cuddling rocking a little or walking a little and then we're working on sewing things down after that. So just got experiment and try different things and see what works for your child if. You're able to wean them off motion entirely then I would focus on the cuddling and the sitting and holding them It's before you try to get them to sleep. Um, infants will need a swaddle take the time to hold them to cuddle our feet a little bit and again those really energetic babies. There's a perfect method in my um, my system.

44:15.81

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Called the spirited sleep ride. It works like a miracle. It's exciting to see these babies go to sleep on their own and the reason that I talk about sleep methods is that they improve sleep. You can come up with your own by listening to your intuition and trying different ideas or you can use 1 you know that I'm sharing someone might. Podcast episode the ones I'm talking about if you work with me. They empower babies with the ability to connect sleep cycles. So you're not having to be the one to do that for them every time they wake up. It helps them extend their naps and it helps them extend their sleep and that's a big deal if you have a child who's waking often and needing you to put them back to sleep. Night after night for several weeks or months it's a big deal for those of you who need to hold your baby or sleep with them on your chest or lay a certain way all night and wake up with back pain every single day It's not easy living this way and you're so patient and good to your child for offering what's best for them. Remember if times are difficult and you have already been patient and done what you can. It's good to ask for help. It's not selfish to want a sleep coach. It's right to spend money on the things that matter to you or what matters to you with your child's well-being listen to your body your heart your logic when it comes to meeting your needs. Or doing these things for a child. What I do for families every day is miraculous and that makes sense because I've always sensed god in my work now I get to share these baby centered methods and solutions with my students I love having helpers they can work miracles just like me. It's so exciting.

45:48.30

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It's been a lot of fun teaching you about temperament sleep and more importantly was spirited sensitive and high needs babies and tellr's needs to sleep better I'm glad you're here I hope you learned some valuable insight and tip tips today if you did don't forget to rate or review this podcast. Preferably on Apple but anywhere will make me happy that will help other families find it if you'd like to learn more about working with me my amazing sleepcoach training school or my mastermind visit sweetslumbertime dot com and look for the tabs at the top of the page I don't care what type of call you set up just set one up. And um, take action on the little urges and pushes you feel be courageous and change your life. Thanks for spending time with me today until next time I'll see you soon.